Appropriate, Seeing As The Los Angeles Kings Play There
A memorial service for Michael Jackson will be held at the Staples Center today. Joe Jackson will be handing out free CD samplers outside.
All These People Dying Is Just Making Walter Cronkite Cocky
Robert McNamara has died at the age of 93.
Did We Miss Anything While We Were Gone?
We’re back. Of course, usually when SMC goes on break, we publish the odd obituary if someone significant passes away. As it turns out, we were busier writing obits the past two weeks than if we were on our regular publishing schedule. We did miss the Sanford thing while we were away, but fortunately, Sarah Palin resigned just in time.
After You Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em
Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska, effective July 26. While many believe she is gearing up for a presidential run, most pundits believe she is joining David Letterman’s writing staff.
As A Council Member, He Was Personally Contributing To The Crime Rate
Former D.C. mayor Marion Barry has been arrested for stalking. When asked why he was stalking his accuser, he said, “It’s the only thing I haven’t been arrested for yet.”
Konichiwa Bitches
North Korea is reported to have test-fired more missiles into the Sea of Japan. When asked for comment, Kim Jung-Il said, “You scared yet? Huh? Scared? Are you? Are you? Scared? Scared, eh? Running away, eh?”
Ecclestone Opposes An Israel Grand Prix, Obviously
Formula One racing chief Bernie Ecclestone praised Adolph Hitler for his ability to “get things done.” He added, “Some people just think about genocide, but how many go out and commit it?”
Kobayashi Finished Second, Despite Being Made Up By Verbal Kint
Joey Chesnut ate a record 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes to retain the International Hot Dog Eating Contest title. He celebrated by throwing up in front of a starving child.
OK, Fates, Put Down The Fucking Scissors Already
NFL QB Steve McNair was murdered in Nashville, TN at the age of 36.
The Obits Writer At The New York Times Just Passed Out
Actress Mollie Sugden, best known as Mrs. Slocombe on Are You Being Served?, has died at the age of 86.
Slocombe
American Express Traveler’s Checks: Don’t Leave Earth Without Them
Karl Malden has died at the age of 97.
Rich Little Heard Yelling, “I WIN!”
Impressionist Fred Travalena has died at the age of 66.
THE LAST HUSTLE OF THE MUSCLE WITHOUT THE TUSSLE
Television commercial spokesperson Billy Mays has died at the age of 50.
Remember The Way You Make Me Feel
The Los Angeles Times is reporting that Michael Jackson has died at the age of 50.
From Charlie’s Angels To Actual Angel
Farrah Fawcett has died at the age of 62.
Heeeeeeere’s Johnny!
Ed McMahon has died at the age of 86.
Recognize, It’s Summertime
SMC will be on break until July 6.
Try to keep everything together while we’re gone. We don’t want your falling apart on our conscience.
Mr. Deeds Goes To Richmond
Terry McCauliffe lost the primary election to be the Democratic nominee for governor of Virginia. Said McCauliffe after the election, “This never would have happened if Bill Clinton was still alive.”
