Suck My Caucus

Suck My Caucus has closed up shop.  We are now just another piece of clutter on the shoulder of the information superhighway.  Thanks for reading!

We’re back.  Of course, usually when SMC goes on break, we publish the odd obituary if someone significant passes away. As it turns out, we were busier writing obits the past two weeks than if we were on our regular publishing schedule.  We did miss the Sanford thing while we were away, but fortunately, Sarah Palin resigned just in time.

SMC will be on break until July 6.

Try to keep everything together while we’re gone.  We don’t want your falling apart on our conscience.

SMC will be taking this week off, because there’s nothing less funny than someone trying to be funny on April Fool’s Day.

From the staff of Suck My Caucus, we wish you all a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

If you’re anything like us, you’ve been drunk since last Thursday.  Try to sleep it off tonight.

We’ll be back tomorrow, with a headache and a lingering taste of corned beef in our throats.  But we’ll be back nonetheless.

Hey, did anyone notice that President Obama gave a speech to a joint session of Congress yesterday?

SMC knew it was happening, but somehow, none of us got to watch it.

This will happen when babies puke, plays have rehearsals, and Stephon Marbury finally gets his contract bought out by the Knicks and the Disciples of Clyde need a long post.

So, yeah, we didn’t live-Tweet it, live-blog it, or really watch too many highlights.

For now, let me just take a few guesses at what went on:

- Barack Obama is popular
- Members of Congress applauded, maybe a little too often
- “We will do things!”
- People on cable news tried to instantly assess the historical impact, and will decide this is the greatest thing since Al Pacino’s halftime speech from Any Given Sunday
- Then they back tracked after some Republicans said that this was the dumbest thing since Al Pacino’s speech from The Devil’s Advocate
- Polls came out proving that Barack Obama is still very, very popular

We’ll be back tomorrow with something awesome to say.

UPDATE FROM CHRIS: Also, apparently, Bobby Jindal killed his presidential chances by, as master improviser Guy Wicke put it, sounding like Kenneth the Page.  And he’s not the only one to notice that.

SMC is off today to celebrate Presidents’ Day by buying a new car and driving to see a production of Our American Cousin.

Please be following the SMC Twitter feed to follow all the Inauguration fun.

Besides that, please watch our favorite clips of previous black Presidents.

Richard Pryor

Dave Chappelle

Eddie Murphy

From the SMC staff to you, happy King Day, everyone!

Dr Martin Luther the King

It should go without saying that we’re off until Wednesday, although we may just Twitter the inauguration if we’re feeling sassy about Michelle Obama’s outfit.

Due to extreme cold and/or travel, Suck My Caucus is off today.

Instead, why don’t you watch this movie trailer:  http://www.deadsnow.com/

Did you watch it?

If I told you it had Zombie Nazis in it, would that be something that interested you?

Yes?

Zombie Nazis.  They love brains, hate Jews.

Suck My Caucus is taking the rest of the year off.  We’ll be back on January 5, 2009 to mark the final days of the Bush presidency, to count down the days until the Obama presidency, and to make tasteless remarks about the Spears family. Who knew that vein hadn’t been mined out?

Happy New Year, everybody!

Food banks are seeing an increase in demand this year because of the worsening economy.  SMC is asking our readers to donate time, money, and/or goods to your respective area food banks this December.  For example, if you live, say, in the greater DC metro area, please donate to Manna Food Center or Capital Area Food Bank.  Or, on the hand, you live, say, in Chicago, please donate to Greater Chicago Food Depository, just like a certain president-elect has done!  (And you want to be like the president-elect, don’t you?)

Thanks,
Chris Zammarelli & Dan Filowitz

Suck My Caucus is taking next week off to celebrate Thanksgiving the only way we know how: with a turkey baster.

Calling all fans of Suck My Caucus! If you are on Facebook, why not declare your love of all things Caucus by becoming an SMC fan on our new Facebook page?  It’s unfair, imbalanced, and just a little bit sexy.

As part of our ongoing quest to be Princes of All Media, SMC is now blogging on Washington, D.C. CBS affiliate WUSA-9’s website: http://tinyurl.com/SMConWUSA9. We have no idea what we’re going to be blogging about, but we’re pretty sure Arch Campbell’s name is going to come up, like, a lot.

Thanks to Angie Goff, WUSA’s traffic anchor, for getting us involved with the site.  Not that we’re anything special, since you all you need to do is register for the site to use it. But it’s nice to name drop.

Suck My Caucus is taking tomorrow off.  We’ll resume our usual skullduggery and inference on Wednesday.

Insert margarita. Enter REALLY mangled posts.